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Showing posts with the label funny

Thank you, Chetta

“Pass it through the window.” Lina’s outstretched hand was trying to grab the pencil pouch bag Akshara was extending to her. Our classroom was visible through the window on the wall perpendicular to the balcony we were standing upon. If you reached out, you could just barely high-five someone in class. But right now, we were on a different mission. Lina grabbed the pouch, but it was only when its contents fell out that that we realized it hadn’t been zipped close. We screamed for no reason from the first floor, watching the pens that had fallen out bounce onto the ground.  Eva’s face was the physical definition of oh no, especially since it had been her bag passed through the window. It was safe, but half empty.  “I can’t find my ID!” Eva rummaged through it, and came up empty-handed. She took off back to class to check if she’d left her ID there. The rest of us peered down below, and watched a couple of boys walk briskly into the building. We hissed to get their a

Captain Security

“Take me to my class, “ said the third grader, tugging Alaina’s arm. “I don’t feel safe here.”  “But why?” asked Alaina, hastily pulling away and staring at her. Sauda watched the situation in amusement. “Because you’re the Captain Security of the school,“ the little girl said impatiently, “and I’m scared to go to my class alone. I want you to come with me.” She tried to yank Alaina with her, but Alaina resisted and just stared at her, flabbergasted. “I’m not Captain Security! I’m Cultural Secretary!” She pointed at her badge, with the words ‘Cultural Sec.’ on it. “Besides, what’s there to be scared of?” Alaina recounted the incident in class, breathless from laughter (“She really thought I was supposed to protect the school!”) with Sauda occasionally chiming in.  Several classmates of ours are school cabinet members (like Head Girl, Prefect, House captains etc) and the encounters they had with the juniors ranged from embarrassing to downright hilarious. “They’re

Record of absence

“ The next time you’re absent, phone the new driver, not me. ” Clearly, my old bus driver was making sure he wouldn’t get a single call from me again. I couldn’t blame him, though. I was infamous for taking days off from school, every now and then. Mom didn’t have an issue either because it meant she’d have company at home the whole day. Tenth grade in India was similar, with the only difference being you didn’t need to let the driver know, because the bus would leave on time whether you were on board or not. I stayed at home whenever I fell sick, or had too much to study and too little time. We had exams every week, which meant at one point or another, I felt myself drowning in assignments, homeworks and other school stuff. I’ve never understood how people come to school everyday and have a perfect attendance. For me, that seems utterly impossible. Just trying to wake up early is where the difficulty starts. During the winters, I can’t seem to push my cozy blankets away.

A day as a classroom monitor

‘Excuse me; can I go to the toilet?’  A third-grader asked me. I nodded my head and he left the classroom. I was watching over the boys’ class of 3 C, as to the request of one of my teachers. I had already done this sort of thing few times before, so it was nothing new to me.   Usually, I’d drag one of my friends along, but this time it was just me. This was fun actually; all I had to do was stand there and watch the kids, interfere if there was any problem, occasionally raise my voice and tell them to sit down and lower the volume, threaten to call the teacher if they still wouldn’t settle down. Of course, childhood memories never leave us either. When you look around and see small kids crying for the littlest of things, or fighting with someone else because one guy called the other a fool and that was one of the biggest, meanest words that the child has ever heard, you’ll finally understand how annoying you might have been at their age. I can still remember, when, a

Bathroom raid - A humorous incident

We thought we saw her running into the bathroom with tear-filled eyes. That’s where Alaina, Linda and I went. When we entered we pounded on every stall, yelling “TERRIN! TERRIN!” Most of them were empty. In one of them, a girl who seem to be in third grade poked her head out and looked at us curiously. When we reach the last stall on the end, we banged on the door and said “Terrin, we know you’re in there. Come out.” A voice that sounded like Terrin’s replied. “There is no Terrin in here” Linda said “If you don’t come out, we will come in”. “I already told you, there is no Terrin in here.” I thought Linda was going to break down the door, but before she could, a girl, but not Terrin, looked at us and snapped “WHAT!?? We all screamed, Linda shouted a “Sorry!” and we ran out. I don’t think I’ve ever run this fast in my life. It was Maths class. I was the first to open the door and get in. I saw Terrin sitting there calmly and doing her sums. I wan

Horror movie at weekend party

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The music got faster. But the scene was very slow. Slowly, then slowly from inside the TV - AAAAARRRHHH! The people watching the movie- AAAAAAAAGH! My classmates and I were at Faiza’s home, where we were watching “ The Conjuring ”. Out of the 17 people in the class, there were 9 of us lying on the bed and holding each other’s hands and screaming occasionally. Our other classmates had not been able to come. Originally, the party timings were 5-7:30 but everyone stayed till 9:30. We phoned our parents telling them we would be late. In one of the last parts, where some people with cameras come to record the ghosts, Rakshanda said “O cute guy, your youth should be not wasted. Try not to die. Please save your awesomeness.” Fortunately for Rakshanda, he did not die. Chandana was squeezing my hand. Sauda was squeezing my other hand. This meant that both my hands were occupied. It also meant, both my hands were becoming sweaty. After we finished half of the mov

Le Chateau, Riyadh - The Clown Restaurant

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Out of all the restaurants I have gone, the weirdest one is definitely Le Chateau.  With a French name, Italian breakfast and Chinese menu, this is a very confused restaurant. The food here is just, okay. It’s not really great and it’s not too bad either. The restaurant looks really weird too. After seeing it, I took the opportunity to name it “ The Clown Restaurant .” Just yesterday we had our class assembly. I was for the poem. Nida was doing the anchoring. When it was my turn, my hands were shaking a little while holding the microphone. But I was able to recite the poem smoothly, giving little breaks and saying clearly. I just don’t know why my hands were shaking. I was not nervous at all. I am usually put for a song in an assembly. It was actually kind of the first time for me to read something out loud. A few days back, Chandana and I were in the library and we came across a fat book called “The Book of 5001 Jokes.” 1. Sherlock Holmes- I see you are we

Chennai Express

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“Don’t underestimate the power of a common man” was a quote said by Shah Rukh Khan at least 5 times in the movie ‘ Chennai Express ’, a comedy movie. Three-fourth of the girls in my class watched that movie, and everyone liked it. Now at school we all imitate him and say “Don’t underestimate the power of a common girl” all the time. I really loved it too. It was really funny.  But Mom did not feel about it the same way I did, because she had seen many movies before similar to this. Also, when the fight between Tangabali and Rahul started, she had got up and walked around the house for some time since she did not like fight scenes. And I got that very gift too. So I was mostly looking down at my feet and admiring my toes during the fight. But I watched the rest of the movie with Dad and Mom. The three of us were sitting on two comfy huge armchairs. For some time I sat next to Dad on his armchair but his tummy got in the way so I sat next to Mom in hers. Both of us fit per

Bahrain Diary (Part 2) - Tree of Life

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A group of women wearing short dresses got out of their car. The car’s tire had sunk in the sand, and refused to move.  Some men surrounded them, giving them smiles and offering their help to the girls. Their own car had got sunk in the sand, but they hardly paid any attention to it or the “ Tree of Life ”, now that they had something else better to look at …… . I gazed at the tree from a distance. This ancient tree was called the “ Tree of life ” as it had survived in the desert for 400 years without any known water source. When we were just about to reach, I had seen a tree next to the roadside but it was only my size and I had felt disgusted, since I thought that was the great ‘Tree of life’. But when the real tree appeared in sight, bigger than its imposter, my disgust turned into wonder and amazement. Many people, the newborn, the middle-aged and the old, were sitting on the tree happily and trying to climb it. Some branches of the tree touched the ground while the ot

Detective Nair

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They say that time flies quickly, and I now reluctantly agree with them. I cannot believe that 2 weeks sped by so quickly! It seems like just yesterday I had finished my exams. Now there are only 4 more days as holidays, school is reopening on  Monday and is the beginning of 7 th grade too. My cousins are soooo lucky, they now have summer vacation for 2 months. Every morning Dad drops me at school and afternoon I come back by school van. Malaika, Marilyn, Faiz, Ravika, Abdul Aziz, and Nimisha are the kids in my van. Malaika is the eldest among us, she is going to be in 9 th grade now. One day Abdul Aziz (the youngest in our bus, he is going to begin the second grade), was babbling about how he went to the computer class, and when he came back to his class he found that somebody had stolen his pouch which had all his pencils and eraser in it, and how he was going to punch the face of the person who stole his pouch.  I tried to make him calm down. I whipped out m

Jerry in my room

“The movie we are about to watch is a classic Iranian movie“, Dad said. He was talking about “ Children of Heaven ” The movie started and the three of us watched intently. It was a very touching movie, about 2 children who struggle with 1 pair of sneakers after a boy Ali loses his sister Zahra’s only pair of shoes.  They belonged to a poor family. Then Ali tries to win the 3 rd prize in a race because the 3 rd prize was sneakers. But he ends up winning 1 st prize instead.  We all enjoyed the movie. Dad told me a joke today. It was really funny. Look……. A family who did not know English very well went to London. In their room at their hotel, they found a mouse scurrying underneath their bed. The man called the front desk. Man – “Uh, hello” Manager – “How can I help you?’’ Man ( thinks for a while ) – “Um, you know ‘Tom and Jerry’? Manager ( surprised ) – “Yes sir” Man – “Jerry is here” I laughed aloud when I heard this. 

A funny incident

“Sit here.”  Jayshree Ma’am told this to a boy studying in the Nursery class. The boy did so, a sulky look on his face. Just then, a small girl came. It was her birthday, so she was distributing chocolate to all the teachers in the block. “Thank you” Ma’am said. She then started to give us some advice about the test the next day and kept her chocolate on the teacher’s table. The boy looked at chocolate for some time and then, when Ma’am faced the blackboard, quickly shot out his hand and took the chocolate. “ Hey, that is not for you!” ma’am snapped. She had seen him do that. “ Keep it back.” He did it, a sullen look on his face. He did the same thing again but he was still not so fortunate. By this time, we were snorting and trying not to laugh. ‘’Do you know why you are here?” she asked him. “It is because you are a very naughty boy and you keep hitting other children. A complaint has come about you and I brought you here so that you would not be able to bea